Parents and  Guru

I have discovered that I love my parents very dearly. They have loved me unconditionally, taken care of my needs despite the struggles in their own life, despite my tantrums and my immature mind.

They have been very loving. It took me a long time to realize the depth of love in a mother for her children, sacrifice she makes for her children every moment.

I want to feel the same for my father. He is such a gentle person, kind hearted and little forgetful with his memory. He has done so much for his kids.

I can't demand anything else from my parents.

I also have a guru who for some reason I am attracted and at various points, i feel very close to him and grateful for his knowledge. But at other times, I can't seem to understand him.
I demand from him but he does not answer.

I am very clear. I want to very enthusiastic and want to bring happiness in my presence.
It CANNOT involve art of living ways of doing things. It has to be my way, my creation of how I can bring happiness.

I am finding it very difficult to follow a set agenda on what to do and how to do. Some blocks come over and they choke me.   Don't question why. I don't have an answer.
I can't change an organization cultured by gurudev's way of doing things. I can't adopt them if I don't agree with them. Unfortunately organization would not let me know do things my way in their organization.

what are those principles?
a) Charge for the courses but amount discretion should be teacher's whether it is right or wrong per
     authority.
b)  Distinguish between growth of People vs Knowledge.
c)  Who is responsible for spiritual growth?