Tuesday, September 8, 2015

Have I grown?

It seems i have become calm. But in the moment of crisis, fear comes up.
I hesitate to share my opinions in public. Reluctant to voice my opinion. reluctant to share my enthusiasm. reluctant to take lead. I don't think knowledge can remove that reluctance.
It can best make you aware of reluctance through peacefulness.

I have become more intelligent. Intellectually intelligent. understand how emotions work, sensation work. But wiser have I become??

Wasted 10yrs of my life - i wish this question would never have come. I wish this curiousity would never have come.

Ultimate answer is there is no point for doing anything. Everybody is saying a lie and the louder it becomes, the real and truthful it sounds. They make money in return. Money buys you power, recognition and more power.


Where am i today?
- whatever I have become is not the state I want to be in and did not desire to be in. It is unenthusiastic, dull and miserable but calm.
- This path is sweet. People who lead are sweet. But there is no growth. You only understand things  better. that's all.
- I don't know why I want to give. It gives me joy. But world teaches you that you need to figure out a graceful way to get credit and recognition.. Important to being recognized. People listen to those who are recognized. Don't listen to those who mislead by saying - don't ask for recognition and serve.
Serve who. Serve how. they themselves could not have achieved without intending for recognition. Just look in their life and see what decisions they made and why they made. Success is sweet and power is perhaps sweeter.

- Every businessman is serving. every entrepreneur is serving. Yes money is the goal. That's the path of growth of doing bigger and better things.

- If I am not happy, how can i inspire others to be happy? Its difficult to be happy. Knowledge does not cut it. it;s like watching a comedy movie and it makes you laugh. You get in good spirits until next day.  Same thing with knowledge it pulls you out. But only for few hours. They say it's deep impression and it would go away. I am still waiting after 10yrs of my journey.


Again, Ultimate answer is there is no point for doing anything. Everybody is saying a lie and the louder it becomes, the real and truthful it sounds.







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