There is one thing which is not letting me flow in life.

Somewhere my mind wants to do something big. And whenever I get an opportunity to do something small, I do it but I don't take full responsibility to make that big. Some hesitation comes in. Some drama of mind - what will I get? Will I learn something?
It's my ego. Not letting things flow.

And I am finding it hard to let go. I just know that I am missing the flow and thinking too much.

After a long time, I feel so much peace in my heart. I don't have a job. I don't know what I want to do.
Yet I can smile.

Last few months have given me so much valuable time to think about myself and life.

Life is full of so many possibilities if we are able to overcome our own insecurities.
What is a insecurity? => That which takes away your freedom. That which limits your potential.

I was full of worries about right job, good amount of money and to achieve something in this life. Making a name. It has come down quite a bit. Being at peace, I can relate to what it means thinking from a broader perspective.

I have only few years in this life and wish to be useful. I want to live every moment engaged, full of enthusiasm and and yet be at peace and centered. That's much more valuable and satisfying.

In desiring for happiness, looking for right job , right things to happen. But will that bring a smile and make me contented?
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Sri Sri: Be like a small baby. What has a baby achieved? It is so completely dependent, yet it smiles doesn't it?!

I have promised myself to find my way to take my state of mind towards enthusiasm and focus.
This blogging is my way of doing some "Mananah" as I write.
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Discipline of bringing my mind in the present - moment by moment - is what i need. And here it goes:
Honor and consistent practice is the way.
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From Sri Sri:
Don't run away from emotions. Remain strong and centred in the midst of changing emotions. (11/2/12, 7:23 AM).
Consistent practice for a long period of time with a sense of honor is needed to get established in the present moment.

It begins like that. See, the knowledge that we gain through the five senses is inferior to the knowledge that we gain through the intellect. You see the sun setting and the sun rising, but the intellect knows that the sun is neither setting, nor rising.
So like this, knowledge of the senses is inferior to the knowledge of the intellect. But knowledge of something beyond the intellect; intuitive knowledge, knowledge from the pure consciousness is even superior to intellectual knowledge. Intellectual knowledge can be proved and disproved, but a discovery which is beyond the intellectual calculation is something very different.

Q: Is there something like a good or bad being? If someone is bound by an outer problem, does the negative path follow him? How to get rid of that?
Sri Sri Ravi Shankar: There is no good or bad soul. There are strong and weak souls. Strong souls are happy, and weak ones are sad. Now, how does a soul become strong? Devotion strengthens the soul. Love strengthens the soul, hatred and sorrow weakens the soul. 

It occured to me this morning after a long time, that I have a blog which I started. I want to write from now on. So that I can be clear in my thoughts, bring focus in my life.

today while cleaning my room, and my study table, I paused and decided to check phone songs list. And suddenly the one knowledge talk by Sri Sri started. His voice does something to my heart. I can't shut off if it starts. It was about 4 pillars of knowledge. and it reminded me that I have gone off the path.
I needed it. Looking for happiness in future and mind is scattered all over.

http://knowledgesheet.artoflivinguniverse.org/2012/11/the-four-pillars-of-knowledge.html

a) Dispassion: even pleasure can bring misery.
b) Longing for divine and something bigger than mundane.
c) 6 wealths
d) Viveka: everything is changing.

Be happy. Keep moving because everything is changing. When difficult times come, be patient. Have control over your senses. Example: when you are served with delicious food, you can't resist. And you overeat. And then senses tell you to stop(well almost).
Be focused on whatever you do.